Of all the things you have to learn from me...

Today is Ethan-centric.  Because he's doing a couple of things lately that scare me very much.  Why am I scared?  Because it's becoming all too clear that I'm raising a small version of myself, and I remember what I put my own parents through.  I am afraid.

First, I'm worried that I've created a tiny little lawyer.  The other day, Ethan and Alyssa were upstairs playing; we were downstairs.  Everything was relatively quiet, right up until we heard Alyssa yell, "Ow!"  Followed by a little bit of yelling.  Alyssa ran downstairs to say that Ethan hit her.  We sat the two kids down, I looked at Ethan, and I asked, "Did you hit Alyssa?"  He looked at me calmly and said, "No."  Alyssa was incensed.  "Yes he did!  He hit me!"  Laura looked at him and asked a little more angrily, "Ethan, did you hit Alyssa?"  Calmly, again, "No."  Laura started to talk to Ethan a bit more sternly; at the same time, Alyssa was tugging on my sleeve, saying, "He did!  He did!  He hit me with my Barbie."  Just then, I heard Laura say, "Ethan, tell the truth - did you hit Alyssa?"  Again, "No."

Uh oh.  Maybe it was the stress on the word "you," but with sudden, perfect clarity, I knew what was happening here.  I said, "Ethan, did the Barbie in your hand hit Alyssa?"  Eyes downcast.  "Yes."  "And did you swing the Barbie at Alyssa?"  "Yes."  "So the Barbie hit Alyssa, but you made it hit her."  "Yes."  Fantastic.  Punishments all around (yes, Alyssa, too; we found out the altercation started because she was trying to physically force Ethan to do whatever it was she wanted him to do while they were playing, something he didn't want to do), explanations that you can't be bossy and you definitely can't hit, apologies and hugs between the children, and I went to cower somewhere in fear, realizing that my 3 year old is already working on telling the "technical truth" in order to cover himself.  Does anyone know what the definition of "is" is?

Second, it's pretty clear that Ethan has some of the same little tendencies I had as a kid.  Obsessed with a movie and collecting all of the action figures from it?  Absolutely, though it's Cars instead of Star Wars for him.  Carefully answering exactly what he's asked, and nothing more?  Obviously.  "Creatively" using found objects as climbing tools and the like?  Oh boy.

We've got this great new swingset.  One of the big wood things, nice and tall deck with ladders for them to climb, big slide, swings, trapeze, it's got it all.  Including, apparently, the strange attraction to "creative" climbing that held sway over me as a young child.  It's not enough for Ethan to climb the ladder and hang out on the deck.  No, I've already discovered him hanging on a cross-beam that sticks a foot out away from the deck, about five feet in the air.  And Laura and I have both found him this week trying to use a small plastic rake as some kind of climbing hook to go up the ladder.  Instead of grabbing the ladder rung, he holds up the rake, hooks it over the highest rung, then tries to use it to pull himself up the ladder.  It's...well, it's kind of ingenious, but also terrifying to watch.  We've now told him three or four times not to do it.  I shudder to think how many times he's done it when we didn't see, if we've caught him at it that many times already.  Because I know how many times I'd have already tried it if my parents had managed to catch me at it three or four times.

Somebody help me, I've been cursed to raise a tiny little version of myself.  Laura, I know you'll read this.  Read carefully, and know I'm being unbelievably serious right now.  Don't let the boy get near any ropes!  I've still got the scar to explain why.